reflections as the celebration concludes...

So I have just realized the real reason why blogs are kept. I've known that it's the documentation of life but it's also the documentation of feelings so that they are never forgotten...

Today, I graduated from Carolina as part of the Class of 2007. It's truly been a year of celebration and I cannot believe that it is over. It's been such a great time here at Carolina and even through all the struggles, I cannot imagine being at any other place for college. So as I reflect on this weekend's events, I'd just like to document what this weekend really meant to me.

First of all, it's been a celebration with my family and all the hard work and support they have provided these 4 years. I was so happy to share my second home with my family and can only hope that they might understand what this place means to me. To my Ninang Baby and Ninong Zarding, I feel as if I am also their child these 4 years. Their support throughout my years have been invaluable and they have been such an integral part of my life here. From birthdays to basketball and football games and just random visits and meals, they have made me feel like I was at home and welcome in this state of NC. To my Ate France, her love for Carolina is just bountiful and I only now figured out what she really meant. I didn't believe her at first to tell the full truth, but I went on faith that I'd love Carolina at least a sliver as much as she did. It turns out that I may love it just as much or at least at a very close second. ;) To Mom, Lisa, and Ate Chrissie and Ate Bilet, there is endless support from so many states away. They helped me realize tat I was able to come home to NYC whenever I was homesick but also that NC is another home to me. The millions of phone calls made me feel that they were still right next to me just as in childhood. I don't know if I could have done it without them. Finally, Ate Florence. I just don't know what my life at Carolina would be without her. For sure, much more difficult. From day 1, she was awaiting my arrival to NC with a big basket of goodies to fill up my dorm room and she never left my side. There have been numerous rides to the airport, many nights on her futon with Fable in and out of site, millions of trips to Harris Teeter and Walmart, and just the love and support throughout my educational endeavors. I am so grateful to have her and Paul, for I know my college experience would just not be as complete.

I have also celebrated with my family here at UNC and it really is my second family. I came to Carolina not knowing a single person but I leave with a huge family and a trunkful of memories. As one of my best friends who I have met on day 1 in HJ Classic, Laura, said, "By the end of senior year, you just collect people." It has been one of the most true statements I have ever heard. It is this family that has helped me through all my hardships and helped me celebrate my accomplishments. I have never felt more at home than I do here and I appreciate the support from all the people I have come to know. I know I could not be where I am right now with your help. I have come to realize that this huge family is unique to Carolina and that I am one of the luckiest people in the world.

Finally, I'll just end with how the conclusion of this chapter in my life has affected me right now, in the spur of the moment. I won't admit that it has hit me now because I am sure this is not true. I will just explain what this weekend's events mean to me. With all the graduation ceremonies that I have attended (4 in total), it did not hit me until now at 2am, the following day after all the festivities. I was asked by my family on the way to the airport, "Were you sad at Commencement?" And, my gut feeling was "No, not at all. I was sadder at the Penn graduation." I didn't know how to verbalize what I was feeling. Then, Lisa (the voice of reason) said, "Ate Chrissie's graduation was about leaving Penn and everything there. At your graduation, everyone just wanted to play the beach balls." And I thought, "Well, that was exactly what I wanted to do." I realized that I wasn't sad at all and that thought made me sad. Then, I remembered the take home message: "Go do good in the world as a Carolina Grad. Then, come back home. Always, come back home." It came to me that it wasn't like Carolina was going to be left behind but will always be a part of my life forever. I was not sad I was leaving because I was so excited to be able to come back home and make my university proud as I just felt so incredibly proud to be a graduate of "the best public university in the nation." It was Commencement and my EXSS graduation ceremony where I truly realized my incredible home and the expeiences I have had at this extraordinary place.

And so, I sit here typing away what should never be forgotten and all I want to do is stay awake and type forever and not lose any time here at Carolina. But, I will retire, as sleep has been sparse this whole week. It has truly been one of the best weeks of my life and I cannot believe it is over. I kind of wish I could ask my Dad about some wisdom about my feelings right now because I know he was very wise. I hope he just watches over me and perhaps transcend the courage to walk away from this wonderful place and move on to the bigger and better things where I can accomplish all that my potential can achieve.



Until next time....